I knew I’d fall down as a mother when my little one started school and after the first term here came the big hurdle. The parents were asked to donate something to the cake sale now I’m not known for my culinary skills, in fact I’ve been dumped because of my cooking, so doing a Mary Berry impression fills me with utter glee.
As a parent of a schoolgirl you can’t send them with nothing, especially as it’s the first time that they’ve asked us to bake anything, I got nervous went through some recipe books and settled on a box of cake mix I found the back of the cupboard. I thought it was being quite earth mother to get my girl involved with the mixing and the icing and the decorating and of course that excuses me because they really did look like they’ve been made by a four-year-old.
The moment of truth, the table of sweet treats in the playground, and yes all six cupcakes that we made was still there even though about 1000 people had already bought cakes. There’s only one thing for it we bought them all to save the embarrassment of anybody else having to eat them all then being thrown away.
I really can’t believe what I’m about to tell you. We’ve just had a lovely holiday in Sardinia, went to the airport to check in for the return flight and walked away with our tickets. It was pure luck then I looked at the boarding passes to see if we had a window seat for my little one that wanted it so much, and that I clocked that three of us, two adults and a child had been completely split up. No I’m not talking one on either side of the aisle, we were sat 10 rows apart. My daughter is four years old for goodness sake, she can’t be expected to sit on her own, and I doubt she would anyway.
And what about the people she’d be sat with, I doubt if they would enjoy the flight either. I find it completely unacceptable and have since heard that it’s a moneymaking scheme by the airlines to make you pay to book your seat. If the adults are split up its no real bother but the airline would surely not take a four-year-old flying on their own, so how can this be seen as okay? I really can’t believe it. How can I be responsible for her if she’s not even within spitting distance of me. It’s not like they didn’t know her age, they saw her passport, they saw her asleep in the buggy, they even put a luggage tag on the pushchair. You can’t honestly begin to understand what that would do to a parent and what it did to me when I don’t like flying anyway. And what if some thing happened in midair? Would I have to rely on a complete stranger to take her to the toilet, to fire her iPad up to watch Zootropolis and to do colouring in with her?
As it was, I marched straight back to the desk and had stern words, making sure she was at least sat with me. It’s complete madness and I’m getting more cross as I write this. Come on airlines sort it out.
You have to be careful what you ask small children don’t you? Here is my case in point – this week I asked my four-year-old daughter if she would like an ice cream.I offered her strawberry, chocolate, or vanilla. When she chose to have a bit of all three I delivered it to her at the table and asked “Am I the best mummy in the world or what?” “What!” came the reply.
I keep seeing lots of posts on Facebook and social media about people cosleeping with their children in their bed. I have no real opinion because I HAVE NO CHOICE!
My little one goes to bed at around 730 she’s normally asleep by 8, around 9 o’clock I go to bed and I put the telly on and fall asleep whenever.
When I wake up it’s normally with a foot in my face or a knee in my back I’ve had fingers in my eyes and this morning I was teetering on the edge of the bed. My four-year-old cannot stay an entire night in her own bed and so comes and gets into mine, normally still half asleep. When I tackle her on the subject she says that the moon does magic and puts her in my bed. I’ve offered to have a word with the moon but apparently the moon won’t budge and the magic continues.
The problem is this I don’t even wake up when she comes in so how am I supposed to follow supernanny’s rules to lead her back into her bed when I don’t even realise she is there until the morning. As soon as she is in my space she wants my warmth as well and so will just squeeze up against me until I’m practically over the side and out of the duvet. How long do I have to endure all this? And bar locking her door, how do I stop it please oh wise ones?
That’s twice now, twice that we’ve been to the dentist and Lois hasn’t opened her mouth, twice now that I’ve been through the embarrassment and twice now that I’ve had to rebook the appointment so that the dentist can hopefully one day, count her teeth before she’s in her 50s. This time I even went in the chair before her, yes I’ve paid for me to have a checkup appointment so that I could show her there is nothing to worry about. Did it make a difference, hell no.
We’d even done rehearsals at home because I know last time she sat in the chair she pursed her lips together and she didn’t move them, my little chatterbox didn’t say a word just in case the dentist got to look at her gnashers.
So I had to resort to bribery, whilst sat in the chair I told her that she was a really big girl and that she could do this and it wouldn’t hurt, but there she sat tight lipped. I said that we could go to the park straight afterwards if she let them have a look, I promised that she could have my phone in the car to watch videos on YouTube, I also said we’d get her favourite food prawns on the way home. No still not having it. She was promised a sticker if she did it, which did the trick for me at 4 years old, but no not for her.
So I took my last shot, gritted my teeth put my mouth on her ear and told her that if she didn’t open her lips and let the man take a look at her pegs she would never have a prize egg again. It’s bad form to promise your little girl chocolate while she sat in the dentist chair but that’s where she pushes me to! Have a guess what happened, yep I’ve got my fingers crossed for 3rd time lucky. When we arrived home I asked her about it and what she was worried about, nothing is the answer I got and she informed me that she would do it when she’s 8! That kid has got to be kidding me.
How the hell do you get them to do it? Any tips would be great! Bar dropping haribo into her open mouth, it’s a bit frowned upon there.
Arrrgghhh what to do about this one oh knowledgable ones?! I am absolutely sick of reading the very hungry bloody caterpillar! It has been demanded every single night for a year now and there is no swerving it. That little green tike is doing my head in, I can’t miss a word otherwise we have to start again, fingers have to follow his journey through all the holes in the food and if we miss one, same deal. Much as I know it off by heart I’ve been instructed to sit beside the bed and point out every word I’m reading until we get to the part where she can list off all the food that greedy little bug eats in one day. It’s not as if I haven’t offered anything else, the one about a monkey is very entertaining and I’ll even do different voices, but no.
The rabbit trying to go to sleep is an average story, but lifting flaps to see what’s behind is fun right, but no.
I’ve literally been pleading to read something else, just once a month, once a week would be a dream. But that girl is steadfast, and I wouldn’t like to be the one to tell her that I’ve thrown it in the bin.