Category Archives: Primary school

The easiest way for a mum to make money

I reckon I've solved the gender pay gap problem. You have a jar in your house, much like a swear jar, but instead of putting in a pound for every naughty word uttered, a quid goes in every time someone says/shouts/screams the word mum. In my house I'd be on about £100 an hour, I'll be a millionaire in no time!

Got to go, just earned myself another fiver!

It’ll stay with you for the rest of your life!

Do you remember when you first had to do your signature? I think I had to sign for a bank account when I was about 10 and I’ve had to do the same sign ever since.
My daughter is four years old and starts school in September. We’ve had the forms through from the school about who’s going to pick her up what school uniform to get and what will be on the lunchtime menu. Also in the pack was a form about the moral values that everyone must follow. It’s to be signed by the headteacher, the form teacher, a parent and the child. SHE’S FOUR YEARS OLD!!!! If she draws a picture of what she says is a horse I think it’s fireworks! 

School induction nerves

I’m off to my little ones school induction tonight and I’m nervous as hell. Would it be ok to take her or does that flag up that I’m “one of those ” yknow single mothers? Do I look stupid asking what time school starts and finishes? Shouldn’t I just know that information? 

What happens if they don’t have garlic bread on the menu every day? I swear that kid lives on the stuff! And I’m imagining her crying her heart out when she realises they don’t do jam sandwiches either. 

And will I burst into tears in anticipation like I did in my ante-natal class? 

How can my baby be going to school???

It’s only 5.45am and what a day it’s been already. Today everybody finds out which school their children with start at. I was very very nervous yesterday because I couldn’t work out which catchment we came in to. We are on the boundary of councils and I have no idea whether she would get into the school nearest us. 
My friend has even talked me through the appeals process. I knew you could log onto the council website after midnight but did I really want to be waking myself up with an alarm at midnight then not being able to sleep because I’m so worried about what will happen. Anyway at 3 AM I woke up as per with a foot in my face, I got up to go to the loo desperately trying not to check my emails eventually I bit the bullet and opened that council message. 
Total relief is what I felt, she got into the first choice school which is two seconds from our house. So the anxious feelings should’ve disappeared at that point. But they didn’t. I now feel panicked, anxious and worried at the thought of her going to school, my little baby is all grown up. 
I’ve got really choked thinking of her standing in her uniform and going in the school gates and gaining lots of independence and not needing me so much any more. It brings tears to my eyes. I know she’ll be fine, she’s been going to the childminder since she was eight weeks old and I had to go back to work, but this feels really different. I know that she will probably skip through the school gates and enjoy learning and playing with new friends but I just feel weird about it. 
So when I tell her later about the school that she’s going to, i’ll front it out just like I do with the fear when we get on a rollercoaster, I block it out and she will get excited. 

I’ve got a little bed bug

I keep seeing lots of posts on Facebook and social media about people cosleeping with their children in their bed. I have no real opinion because I HAVE NO CHOICE!
My little one goes to bed at around 730 she’s normally asleep by 8, around 9 o’clock I go to bed and I put the telly on and fall asleep whenever. 
When I wake up it’s normally with a foot in my face or a knee in my back I’ve had fingers in my eyes and this morning I was teetering on the edge of the bed. My four-year-old cannot stay an entire night in her own bed and so comes and gets into mine, normally still half asleep. When I tackle her on the subject she says that the moon does magic and puts her in my bed. I’ve offered to have a word with the moon but apparently the moon won’t budge and the magic continues.
The problem is this I don’t even wake up when she comes in so how am I supposed to follow supernanny’s rules to lead her back into her bed when I don’t even realise she is there until the morning. As soon as she is in my space she wants my warmth as well and so will just squeeze up against me until I’m practically over the side and out of the duvet. How long do I have to endure all this? And bar locking her door, how do I stop it please oh wise ones? 

Cos you aren’t gold

My little girl is well impressed with having the Toyota Yaris to take her to pre school and says she likes silver…..but gold is the best, can’t we have a gold one? (It’s actually gun metal grey and I really like it, it hides a fair amount of dirt) .

IT’S NOT A BOOK!!!

It’s the most entertaining drive to work, seeing all the kids walking to school dressed as their favourite characters for World Book Day. I was really proud of Rich from heart Breakfast, who came to work dressed as the very Hungry Caterpillar (This may or may not have happened). There’s always a Harry Potter at each school, a ‘Tiger that Came to Tea’ and Where’s Wally for such a fantastic day to encourage reading. But there were also questionable costumes that I think come from parents that forget this worldwide day until the night before and raid the dressing up box. Little Bo Peep was the first one to make me say “Is that a book? “I thought it was a nursery rhyme?” Then I saw a girl dressed as a my little pony toy, as far as I’m aware they’re on the tele too, but not in books. I also clocked a teacher go dressed with bright pink hair, as Poppy from the film Trolls. Yes, the FILM Trolls. Are they from books? I suppose you can get colouring books and an Annual every year.