Category Archives: Infants

Winning at festivals 

I have a really romantic view about taking my child to a festival. The reality is very different. She is of course bored by the time we reach 2 meters past the entrance, but I persevere and blow up and air lounger which entertains her for approximately 5seconds because she has her own personal bouncy castle. But, after she has fallen into 10 people and knocked over five drinks, it’s time to put it away. This will carry on for approximately five hours while I try and drink a pint of cider and watch a band.
I have however found a real advantage to having a 4 year old at one of these gatherings. The queue for the loo was about 200 people strong and not going down very quickly. With a little girl covered in glitter bouncing from one foot to another, shouting “I neeeed a weeeeee!” and “It’s gonna come out!” it’s amazing how many people let you in front of them. We were at the front and looking for a cubicle within 20 seconds and from then on I took her to the toilet with me whether she wanted to go or not.

Split up from my kid on a flight!

I really can’t believe what I’m about to tell you. We’ve just had a lovely holiday in Sardinia, went to the airport to check in for the return flight and walked away with our tickets. It was pure luck then I looked at the boarding passes to see if we had a window seat for my little one that wanted it so much, and that I clocked that three of us, two adults and a child had been completely split up. No I’m not talking one on either side of the aisle, we were sat 10 rows apart. My daughter is four years old for goodness sake, she can’t be expected to sit on her own, and I doubt she would anyway.
And what about the people she’d be sat with, I doubt if they would enjoy the flight either. I find it completely unacceptable and have since heard that it’s a moneymaking scheme by the airlines to make you pay to book your seat. If the adults are split up its no real bother but the airline would surely not take a four-year-old flying on their own, so how can this be seen as okay? I really can’t believe it. How can I be responsible for her if she’s not even within spitting distance of me. It’s not like they didn’t know her age, they saw her passport, they saw her asleep in the buggy, they even put a luggage tag on the pushchair. You can’t honestly begin to understand what that would do to a parent and what it did to me when I don’t like flying anyway. And what if some thing happened in midair? Would I have to rely on a complete stranger to take her to the toilet, to fire her iPad up to watch Zootropolis and to do colouring in with her?
As it was, I marched straight back to the desk and had stern words, making sure she was at least sat with me. It’s complete madness and I’m getting more cross as I write this. Come on airlines sort it out.

It’ll stay with you for the rest of your life!

Do you remember when you first had to do your signature? I think I had to sign for a bank account when I was about 10 and I’ve had to do the same sign ever since.
My daughter is four years old and starts school in September. We’ve had the forms through from the school about who’s going to pick her up what school uniform to get and what will be on the lunchtime menu. Also in the pack was a form about the moral values that everyone must follow. It’s to be signed by the headteacher, the form teacher, a parent and the child. SHE’S FOUR YEARS OLD!!!! If she draws a picture of what she says is a horse I think it’s fireworks! 

School induction nerves

I’m off to my little ones school induction tonight and I’m nervous as hell. Would it be ok to take her or does that flag up that I’m “one of those ” yknow single mothers? Do I look stupid asking what time school starts and finishes? Shouldn’t I just know that information? 

What happens if they don’t have garlic bread on the menu every day? I swear that kid lives on the stuff! And I’m imagining her crying her heart out when she realises they don’t do jam sandwiches either. 

And will I burst into tears in anticipation like I did in my ante-natal class? 

Finally, a good nights sleep 

Shout it from the rooftops this is bigger than Coronation Day in Frozen Arundelle! Hang out the bunting, get a brass band to play at the party and let’s do a conga! I’ve only gone and got myself a big girl that stays in her bed all night! I feel like a different woman! 
For two years now my daughter has got out of her own bed, snuck into my bedroom and got in the other side of where I’m sleeping. Last night she didn’t, last night she went all the way through. So of course when I woke up at 4 AM I had to go and check on her to make sure that she was okay. It feels like a totally different era already. 

Let’s see how long it lasts, how long it takes before she remembers the comfortable warm slumber she gets beside me and I get a 4 year olds toe up my nose whilst catching zeds. Keep your fingers crossed for me. 

Ask questions carefully 

You have to be careful what you ask small children don’t you? Here is my case in point – this week I asked my four-year-old daughter if she would like an ice cream.I offered her strawberry, chocolate, or vanilla. When she chose to have a bit of all three I delivered it to her at the table and asked “Am I the best mummy in the world or what?” “What!” came the reply.

How can my baby be going to school???

It’s only 5.45am and what a day it’s been already. Today everybody finds out which school their children with start at. I was very very nervous yesterday because I couldn’t work out which catchment we came in to. We are on the boundary of councils and I have no idea whether she would get into the school nearest us. 
My friend has even talked me through the appeals process. I knew you could log onto the council website after midnight but did I really want to be waking myself up with an alarm at midnight then not being able to sleep because I’m so worried about what will happen. Anyway at 3 AM I woke up as per with a foot in my face, I got up to go to the loo desperately trying not to check my emails eventually I bit the bullet and opened that council message. 
Total relief is what I felt, she got into the first choice school which is two seconds from our house. So the anxious feelings should’ve disappeared at that point. But they didn’t. I now feel panicked, anxious and worried at the thought of her going to school, my little baby is all grown up. 
I’ve got really choked thinking of her standing in her uniform and going in the school gates and gaining lots of independence and not needing me so much any more. It brings tears to my eyes. I know she’ll be fine, she’s been going to the childminder since she was eight weeks old and I had to go back to work, but this feels really different. I know that she will probably skip through the school gates and enjoy learning and playing with new friends but I just feel weird about it. 
So when I tell her later about the school that she’s going to, i’ll front it out just like I do with the fear when we get on a rollercoaster, I block it out and she will get excited.