Category Archives: Infants

What are Dads for?

I often wonder if my daughter misses out with not having a father around at all, she has strong male role models all around her, but recently a couple of things have come up that I see as ‘dad’ jobs, the first is gross and the second I’ve just got on with.

Farting, letting out wind, blow offs, I think every kid goes through a stage of finding this super super funny, being obsessed with bottom burps, trumps, pops. I, on the other hand do not find this amusing, in fact it made me feel sick when traveling along the motorway my sweet innocent 5 year old asked if I “could smell that?” Euurrrggghhhh! See, she’s missing someone who’ll find it hilarious when she starts whafting the air from her bum after the loudest noise that’s ever come out of her!

The second act I’ve always seen as something the Dad would do and funnily enough did see lots of dads do, the day we went to the park with her new bike with NO STABILISERS! As we got crash hats, handlebars and knee pads out of the car a little boy whizzed past on two wheels, with his pop right next to him, his mum 10 meters behind, filming the proceedings. So it’s just me and her, I’ve got to play both parents, so it’s a case of holding on, chasing beside and trying to film at least 3 seconds on my phone. Would you believe it, after 2 tries and a lot of me reminding her to keep pedalling, she only went and nailed it! My heart jumped out of my chest with joy and pride, I did that, I’ve made the most wonderful, amazing bike rider, now I’ve got to teach her to stop.

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After school clubs

Cast your mind back to when you were at school, apart from netball, did you take part in any after school activities?

This term my 5 year old daughter has been offered the chance to go to after school clubs, here’s a selection of what’s on offer, cricket, parachute fun (I presume they are meaning 10 kids throwing one in the air in a school hall, not jumping out of an aeroplane?!) and board games.

When I was in the infants class I used to stay behind and do country dancing and I hated every second of it.

A world of worry

We welcomed a new baby to the family this week and I can’t get out of my mind how much it is a welcome to a world of worry.

Worrying about them, people around them, germs, even the air around them. Worrying when you’re with them that you’re doing too much, that you’re doing too little, that you’re being a helicopter parent, or that you look as if you don’t give a flying whatsit. Worrying that they’re falling behind their peers, not putting on enough weight, putting on too much weight, one toe is longer than the other.

Worrying that their clothes are a bit big, too scruffy, not the right brand. Worrying when they won’t stop crying, worrying when they’re too quiet, worrying that the tv is too loud, worrying that the only place they will ever sleep is in the car, then worrying when you see a red light cos you know that stopping will wake them up.

Worrying about breastfeeding, worrying about not breastfeeding, worrying they’ve had too much milk or worrying that they’ve had too little. Worrying about childcare, did you go back to work too soon or should you go back at all?

Worrying that you haven’t done the car seat up properly or did you do it too tight, have they got milk down their clothes, have you?

You genuinely never stop worrying from the time you first saw the blue line on that test. And I don’t think it gets any easier as they grow up, you just worry about different things.

Don’t do it, it’ll stink…

WARNING! To everyone taking kids to a beach this summer.

If you are looking for interesting stones and pebbles and come across some crabs legs that your child finds fascinating, LEAVE THEM THERE!

I can confirm that putting them in a toy bag for a week, so they’re safe for next month’s ‘show and tell’ makes your house stink!

You’re welcome.

Do I have the weirdest child in the world?

My five-year-old daughter has just wolfed down a full roast chicken dinner, minus the potatoes, she doesn’t like them not even chips, strange kid huh. Nothing really out of the ordinary there, until you hear what she asked for next.

With a clean plate in front of her she asked “Can I have some more BROCCOLI please?” Eh? I’ve never come across such a strange child, she’ll be asking for Brussels sprouts next!

Have your kids ever asked for something like this? You just didn’t expect the request to come out of their mouths, I’d love to know.

Excuses, excuses

Some excuses sound way too ridiculous to be true, like this. My mate missed her daughter’s parents evening because…..wait for it….she didn’t turn over her calendar. The appointment had been made for the 2nd of the month but got forgotten because it wasn’t on the front page of the wall diary! Haha imagine trying to get that one past the teacher, when they hear so many excuses about missing homework already.

Parents evening makes me feel fat

Parents evening makes me feel fat! Is there anyone in the world who can sit on those tiny little kiddie chairs without their bum spilling over the sides??? Or are you like me, just chuffed if you can get one cheek on there? Haha