Category Archives: Dentist

Is the tooth fairy flush or skint?

My 5 year old daughter is desperate to lose her baby teeth, so desperate that she gets me to check if any of her pegs are wobbly each evening. She tells me 4 of them are moving around, none of them are. The next night a different 4 are swaying around, but I check them, rock solid.

But I know that we’re urging ever closer to being a bit gummy for a while, so tell me oh wise ones, how much is that lovely but skint tooth fairy leaving these days? Surely it’s metal not paper right?

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Good or bad parenting?

I’m yet to determine if the story im about to tell you makes me a good or a bad parent. Me and a friend of mine took our kids to a nice big play park to have a run around, let off some steam and have fun at the weekend. Good?

We perched ourselves on a bench away from anyone else so we could have as detailed a gossip as we liked. Bad?

The children were full of joy in the sandpit, quite happy to fill a bucket up then tip it over. Good?

I found a big bag of sweeties in my rucksack, so my friend and I fired through the lot of them, hiding them behind our backs anytime one of our cherubs came towards us. Bad?

No, actually I’ve concluded that it makes me a very very good parent to eat my daughter’s sweets, I’m saving her from obesity and her teeth rotting.

Good or bad, you decide, haha.

I need your help with the dentist….

That’s twice now, twice that we’ve been to the dentist and Lois hasn’t opened her mouth, twice now that I’ve been through the embarrassment and twice now that I’ve had to rebook the appointment so that the dentist can hopefully one day, count her teeth before she’s in her 50s. This time I even went in the chair before her, yes I’ve paid for me to have a checkup appointment so that I could show her there is nothing to worry about. Did it make a difference, hell no. 
We’d even done rehearsals at home because I know last time she sat in the chair she pursed her lips together and she didn’t move them, my little chatterbox didn’t say a word just in case the dentist got to look at her gnashers.
So I had to resort to bribery, whilst sat in the chair I told her that she was a really big girl and that she could do this and it wouldn’t hurt, but there she sat tight lipped. I said that we could go to the park straight afterwards if she let them have a look, I promised that she could have my phone in the car to watch videos on YouTube, I also said we’d get her favourite food prawns on the way home. No still not having it. She was promised a sticker if she did it, which did the trick for me at 4 years old, but no not for her. 
So I took my last shot, gritted my teeth put my mouth on her ear and told her that if she didn’t open her lips and let the man take a look at her pegs she would never have a prize egg again. It’s bad form to promise your little girl chocolate while she sat in the dentist chair but that’s where she pushes me to! Have a guess what happened, yep I’ve got my fingers crossed for 3rd time lucky. When we arrived home I asked her about it and what she was worried about, nothing is the answer I got and she informed me that she would do it when she’s 8! That kid has got to be kidding me. 
How the hell do you get them to do it? Any tips would be great! Bar dropping haribo into her open mouth, it’s a bit frowned upon there.