Category Archives: Cooking

Summer time wasting

In the summer holidays were all looking for things to keep the kids occupied, so please can I pass on my little tip to you. Having just got back from a very rainy and muddy Camp Bestival weekend at certain times it was easier said than done entertaining our little rugrats, but we stumbled upon something rather wonderful when inside the tent because rain had stopped playing.

Eating jelly with a fork it turns out is hilarious, tasty and takes a long time cos it keeps dropping off. How brilliant, I'm applying this principle to everything during the next month to see if it will hold off the screams of "Mummmmmmyyyyyyy!" (See my last blog) I wonder what else I can do it with? Spaghetti with a cocktail stick? Drawing only with things found in the garden?

School induction nerves

I’m off to my little ones school induction tonight and I’m nervous as hell. Would it be ok to take her or does that flag up that I’m “one of those ” yknow single mothers? Do I look stupid asking what time school starts and finishes? Shouldn’t I just know that information? 

What happens if they don’t have garlic bread on the menu every day? I swear that kid lives on the stuff! And I’m imagining her crying her heart out when she realises they don’t do jam sandwiches either. 

And will I burst into tears in anticipation like I did in my ante-natal class? 

It’s all going swimmingly.


Foods eaten- jam sandwich 

Mess made- a few crumbs from the sandwich and a muddy footprint on the edge of the seat

Bonus points for the Toyota Yaris- when you pull away at a junction it sounds like you’re taking off, which also doubles as a great in car game of aeroplanes 

No sooner had we pulled away from the show room but there came a tiny voice from the back seat asking for food. As she had her lunch box beside her I asked to get something from that rather than grappling in the front for a half eaten wagon wheel.
My 4 year old picked out a yoghurt with no spoon (thank goodness, can you imagine it in a moving vehicle? She manages to get it on the tele and in her hair when she eats it at the table) and a jam sandwich. I daren’t look, somehow jam always ends up in the air but then is drawn to any material thing to make it red and sticky, no good when you’ve set yourself a challenge to keep this Toyota Yaris looking plush. 

Noisiest eater in the world 

My daughter slurps her milk and says “ahh” after gulping it down like a grandma with a cup of tea. Nothing grates on me as much as hearing someone eating. The chewing, the champing, the smacking of the lips all do my brain in. Whilst living at home with my folks I couldn’t even wolf down breakfast in the same room as anyone else…and now I have a 3 year old who is the noisiest eater, in the world, ever! 
Even as a baby she would suck her milk from the bottle at 109 decibels but listening to her get through a bowl of ‘Disney princess pasta’ pierces my ears! Eating a bag of wotsits it feels like she makes about 54 crunches or ‘thunderclaps’ on each crisp. But the worst is when she has a bowl of spaghetti Bolognese and chomps her way through, smacking her lips, eeuuurrrggghhh makes me want to scream. Even the clang of the spoon on her teeth as she sucks up a yogurt gets to me. I’m sure she does it to wind me up! 

Happy happy new year in our house 

Yes, we did go out and have a few drinkies. Yes, I was sipping prossecco when little one fell asleep on my mates sofa. Yes, we did finish our game of trivial pursuit. No, I can’t see the floor for my little ponies and Disney princesses. And yes, we are having pizza for breakfast. 

Am I being clever or lazy? 

Does anyone else see an easy option so clearly? I’m probably living up to my ‘bad mum’ title by saying this but my daughter is a fussy eater and so if I can spot a way to feed her that doesn’t take a. any cooking from me and b. Any preparation from me, then I’ll take it, rather than slave over the stove, only for her to push it away as soon as it gets to the table. 
It really was like Christmas had come early in our local M&S last week, they had 4 sampling stations with mulled wine for me, biscuits, bread and chocolate for her. We went round 3 times, that’s about a dinner’s worth isn’t it?
The week before, there was a leaving lunch for a colleague I jumped at the chance to bring my 3yr old daughter in to see which sandwiches she’d go for. There was an enormous buffet, sandwiches, wraps, fruit, cakes, biscuits, filled a gap in her tiny tummy. Yes it’s lazy, but she’s been fed and watered and is happy for the rest of the day. Can’t wait for birthday party season….

Even my birthday isn’t about me!

For more years than I care to let you know about, my birthday has been about 1 thing, me! On my 10th, my 20th and my 30th that one day of the year revolved around moi. Out for lunches and dinners, cards and presents flying around, I was in my element. 
This year is a little different. my girl is now 3 1/2 and I didn’t realise how much she ruled my world until she started begging me for a Halloween party and I agreed to have it ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! I know nuts huh?! It sounded like a good idea at the time, in half term so we could have all her little mates round and don’t forget, it makes my life a whole lot easier if she has a smile on her face, “if the kids are happy we’re happy!” I also used it as bribery for her, to go to bed at a reasonable hour, to eat just one more carrot and to get out of Toys R Us without buying anything, for two months. 
But this has got out of hand and we now have 25 little people coming to my house on the anniversary of my birth and I know they won’t bring a bottle of booze, I will be stressing over who wants frazzles and who wants cheesy quavers not whether to go for a facial or a massage. Right now on the eve of the party I’m putting up ghostly decorations and hollowing out a pumpkin, not wondering if anyone bought me that handbag I desperately wanted. How things have changed…