Category Archives: Children

When/how will co-sleeping End?

The fact is, my daughter has snuck into my bed in the middle of the night for 3 years now. She doesn’t get such a good night sleep and nor do I, so I’ve tried everything I can to get her to stay in her bed. She does fall into a slumber in her bed it’s just that she doesn’t stay there.

She used to blame the moon and say it did magic and put her next to me in the dark, so I wrote her a letter from the moon saying that if she stayed in her bed when would leave a prize every day under her mattress, it bled me dry! In the end I was leaving anything that I could find, half an old biscuit or three pieces of popcorn, ha ha.

We also tried sticker charts and she’s done very well she currently has five stickers on the chart it’s just that has come from a month, not so good. I reckon she responds quite well to bribery, y’know the carrot not the stick, so I said if she stayed in her room for the entire night seven nights on the trot she would get a big prize. She lasted two nights. I pulled out the big guns and promised a pet if she could do 21 sleeps in a row. This made for a very excited little girl thinking of a pet fish called “Goldie” (I’m presuming after it’s colour, not the drum n bass guy?) She managed one sleep.

I’ve changed tack now and have resorted to asking her how to keep her in her own bed. She thought about it for some time and told me that my bed is comfy and cosy because I’m there and the only way she was going to stay in her princess bed was if I locked her to the mattress! Obviously I’m not going to do that, I don’t have chains long enough, ha ha.

I’m at my wits end with, I’ve run out of ideas, should I just let her sleep in my bed and if I shouldn’t how do I stop her coming in? Any suggestions gratefully received as ever…….

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Trumping etiquette

A 4 year old girl I know, was round at her granny and grandpa’s house when she announced “I just farted!” The granny was quite shocked at the word and said “no, you just let out some windy pops.”

A little while later whist playing, the girl turned back to her grandparents and told them “I just farted some windy pops!”

Hahaha out of the mouths of babes.

Lazy option or easy option?

Laziness gets the better of me sometimes, or maybe it’s just wanting to get off the hamster wheel for a second, I try a look for a few short cuts each day, today I reached a new low.

My 4 year old daughter came home from school with what looked like half her dinner down it. I managed to identify strawberry yogurt and some kind of pasta sauce as I put it in the washing basket. Then tragedy struck, all the other dresses were waiting to be ironed!

What I should have done was get them all done there and then, but I’m ashamed to say I took the easy option and got the frock back out and picked the bits of dried food off.

Bleeding heck…

My four-year-old is doing a project at school about bodies, she’s obsessed with blood. She tells me on a daily basis, there is blood in our feet, in our hands, in our head, in our faces and in our tummies.

When I fell over last week her only concern was how much I bled, it was just a little graze on my knee but she thought Id lost pints! If she falls over, which is every other day, she’ll be fine until she sees the tiniest little drop of claret.

In a discussion about Someone that died she asked “did all their blood come out?” I think I’ve bred vampire in training.

The big issues

It’s inevitable that kids cry when they’re tired, hey, it’s inevitable that I cry when I’m tired, but at least it’s at a sad film or because I’ve broken my favourite wine glass, but the my 4 year old daughter really goes for it at the slightest thing. Within an hour today we have had meltdowns for these reasons:

*Breaking biscuit in 2 when she wanted it whole, but it wouldn’t fit in the cup of milk

*Me putting her socks on when she wanted to do it herself

*Me taking her socks back off

*The bed covers being minions not the Anna and Elsa duvet covers

*Cos it’s not her birthday

Jeez, I really have to mum up!

The crap British bake off

I knew I’d fall down as a mother when my little one started school and after the first term here came the big hurdle. The parents were asked to donate something to the cake sale now I’m not known for my culinary skills, in fact I’ve been dumped because of my cooking, so doing a Mary Berry impression fills me with utter glee.

As a parent of a schoolgirl you can’t send them with nothing, especially as it’s the first time that they’ve asked us to bake anything, I got nervous went through some recipe books and settled on a box of cake mix I found the back of the cupboard. I thought it was being quite earth mother to get my girl involved with the mixing and the icing and the decorating and of course that excuses me because they really did look like they’ve been made by a four-year-old.

The moment of truth, the table of sweet treats in the playground, and yes all six cupcakes that we made was still there even though about 1000 people had already bought cakes. There’s only one thing for it we bought them all to save the embarrassment of anybody else having to eat them all then being thrown away.

Doesn’t Christmas go on?

Christmas must be so confusing for children, it feels like it goes on forever doesn’t it? My four-year-old asked last night why somebody still had their twinkly lights up outside the house. I tried to reply but I knew I was fighting a losing battle, trying to explain that we are currently in the 12 days of Christmas and lights don’t have to be down until January 5th, then add in the advent calendar where you open a window every day for 24 days and the fact that we went to see Father Christmas in mid November and it’s no wonder she believes that Christmas goes on longer than the X factor!