Category Archives: Children

The day out in London

I really do try and get the best and the most out of life I think that it should be about experiences and new things and yesterday we had is just an amazing experience. We took the kids on the train to London I’ve researched it and try to work out where to be and what time and how to get the most out of it all, especially the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.

I’ve been looking this up on various websites for about a month now trying to work out the timings and whether there is a band and the best place to stand on whether the kids will be able to see anything only to find when we got there on an earlier train that there was NO changing of the guard ceremony on the day that we were there, typical.

Actually it wasn’t a bad deal because it meant that there were massive crowds to get through and we can get right up to the railings and my little girl could wave a flag and sing the national anthem at the Queen in that window at the top right where we saw her 😉

Trying to have a break from the craziness we walked through the park up the mail, little did we know that we would come across the highlight of the day in some toilets. If we had known how entertained to 6-year-old girls would be by hand dryer and the noise that it makes ,we could’ve gone to anywhere.

We walked up the mall and saw the horse guards heading back to the stables, what an amazing thing to see, what a sight, wonderful memories right there. And 10 minutes in Trafalgar Square obviously getting hands wet in the fountains, then I helped them get up to the massive great Lions around Nelsons column where two 6-year-olds walked to the back of the lion looked at its bum and held their noses like it’s just done the biggest fart in their faces.

The Southbank was crazy busy with people trying to get on the London eye but we pushed through to Shrek’s adventures. I can honestly say this is fantastic if you’ve got children that have seen the film this is wonderful, it’s all interactive, like a walk through the film where you meet the characters and our children were chuffed to bits to be involved and loved every second of it and us grown-ups came out with big smiles on our faces too. You start the journey on the bus with a donkey driving and dragons and witches flying past day and it all goes downhill from there. We met Cindarella to help us on our way, a fortuneteller and a barmaid called Doris and it was fabulous!

And then the train journey home was a series of About 100 requests to go to the toilet, this of course is because the toilets on the train are all done by buttons and some little girls I know love pressing buttons, So much so I’m thinking of having a lock button put on my bathroom.

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The kick start I needed to lose weight

I can tell you that faced with a video of your bare behind is one of the most shocking things that can happen! I was deleting videos from my phone cos it’s January and I’m having a clear up, when I came across said film.

I thought my daughter had been creating a movie with ‘my little pony’ and LOL dolls on the bathroom floor, but no, that camera had been pointed at my derrière whilst I washed my hair in the shower. The view was sobering, no shocking, I’ve never seen myself from that angle before and never want to see it looking like that again.

This is it, from now on I’m only eating kale and doing 50,000 squats an hour. If you need a bit of a kick start, just give your 5 year old your phone while you’re having a wash.

Nans are the best….

Nans always come into their own at this time of year when they’ve had a little drink. My daughters Nan was the quizmaster on Christmas evening, only problem being because the questions were in black on red card, she couldn’t read the answers! That made for some loud debate.

I remember very fondly my own Nans at this time of year, one of them forgetting that she’d put 10 Christmas jumper presents inside mine and looking for them all afternoon and the other making inappropriate remarks about how bright my dads new pants were! (Cor, we’ll see you coming in those!🤦‍♀️)

I reckon my mates grandma took the biscuit this year, when during the mouth guard game, where you have to try and say the phrase that’s on the card with that stupid bit of plastic in your gob, she had trouble keeping her false teeth in and they fell right out of her mouth.

Cute politics

Brexit is all a bit of a mess isn’t it? We watched the debate in the House of Commons on Monday afternoon because my 5 year old is trying to become a school councillor so I was explaining the basics of government.

Obviously when they address anyone in the house they reply to their “Right honourable friend” So we gave it a go, she put her best posh politician’s voice on and said “my right horrible friend”. I bet Teresa May wishes she could’ve said that too!

Homemade Christmas

I’m sure you’ve done this at some point in your life, everyone does right? I had a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a vase but they were coming to the end of their days, the petals had fallen off.

Before I could clear them to the bin my five year old had collected them up and trotted off to the kitchen. After hearing lots of crashing about in cupboards I peered my head around to find that she had made 15 boxes/jugs/cups of ‘perfume’.

Of course, as was pointed out, the optimum is 4 petals in each pot for a beautiful aroma. So, guess what everyones getting for Christmas, although I may decant them into little bottles just so I can have my Tupperware back.

LOL surprise, I’d be Lolling if I was you too

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat…….and my bank balance is going down, my five year old has asked for one thing over and over again, an LOL big surprise! I try and tempt her with other things but that little bleeder keeps coming up.

It’s a big plastic box with 3 dolls no bigger than your hand and an array of clothes and accessories for them. What are you thinking, tenner, twenty at most? Nope the thing my little darling wants most is £85! Oh my goodness, Is this really what people were talking about when they said kids were expensive? £85 is a weekend away, not a couple of plastic girls that will get lost in the toy box in minutes (am I doing a good job of talking myself out of this?) but what about Christmas Day, when I get the sad face cos there was no ‘big surprise’ under the tree?

Ok, I’ll make a deal, if it’s under a fiver after Christmas she can have it for her birthday.

Ever had to entertain a bear?

Weve had a visitor. We’ve had the class bear, Fred for the weekend. You have to take him everywhere with you and write down what you’ve done. When It says ‘we’ have to take him everywhere, what it means is ‘I’ have to take him everywhere!

So he went to the pub for lunch, drank wine, watched the Coldplay documentary and had breakfast in a hotel with some very hungover friends of mine. His weekend diary may have to be edited.