Arrrggghhh it’s a home visit from school

I’m currently sat here waiting for my home visit from the school teachers from my little girls first class in infant school. Why are they coming? Is it to see how tidy my house is? Is it to check out how big my tele is, or how many cakes I have in the cupboard. I’ve heard it’s to see what the family dynamic works, but I’ve also heard that it’s to make sure you’re in catchment and you haven’t lied about your address. I reckon it’s to see which biscuits get served with a cup of tea.

My first reaction when I heard this was going to happen was to play pranks, to have a bit of a laugh with it, to maybe have a glass of wine on the go when they arrive, have an afternoon rave in my living room or to have a treasure hunt from the front door leading them with clues to me and my daughter in the shed, but I was advised that it wasn’t a good idea. Right now I’m actually quite nervous, it’s a bit like when an estate agent comes to show potential buyers round your house, so you make bread and fresh coffee.

Feeling like I’m going to be totally judged, if I get this wrong will she not be able to start school next week? I’ve done all the washing up I’ve put the Hoover around, I’ve put a full face of make up on and made sure that I’m dressed appropriately, I doubt they’d appreciate me opening the door in my nightie, as I scoff down a pepperami for lunch. I’ll come back to you soon and let you know if my child is still allowed at that school…..

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